I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I need a hoe opinion
go on
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
