Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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