I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
