Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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