Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
