he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize