is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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