She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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