I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
