I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
