you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
