Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
