we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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