I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
