im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
