It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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