hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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