the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
