I'm going to jail i love you
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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