You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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