I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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