I hate all girls vehemently.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
