doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
