my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
