idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Randomize
