Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
