god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
