this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
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