Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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