like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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