well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
