would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
