all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
