Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
