So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
