I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Randomize