I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
