It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize