i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
