i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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