life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
