we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize