i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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