How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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