how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
