redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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