please come you make the beer taste better
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
