Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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