Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
