If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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