you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
