Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
