its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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