well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Two words: blizzard sex
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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