Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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