I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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