if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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