I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
