how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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