He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
