tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
